Precious Things Like Pirate Hats

This post is part of The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VII!

To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, visit the fest page at: http://www.augustmclaughlin.com/beauty-woman-blogfest-vii/ – on August’s McLaughlin’s site between today and 11pm PST March 9th.

There is a problem that happens with some adults, which unfortunately, is not all that uncommon.  It occurs around the world, when we torture ourselves over things that happened when we were children and should be long over, yet it is a demon that persists in remaining glued to us.

Why is that?  Because most often we were conditioned into it by adults around us back then, often a parent.  Some of us know how silly it is to allow that thing to still bother us, yet that white elephant is always lurking in some corner, ready and waiting to pop out at the least favorable time. 

It happens in any number of ways, from mild to severe, depending on the individual circumstances.  The thing can be anything a parent (or whomever) sees as the problem upsetting them.  Most of the time it has very little to do with the child, but the psychosis of the adult/s around.  Sadly, there are those children who were forced to endure unbearable acts of violence from a loved one also.  If this is the case for you, please seek professional help.  There are counselors, therapists or psychiatrists out there who do care and help you get to a better place in your own skin.

These incidents can take place from a parent not liking the real you, be it sexual orientation, gender identification, drugs, teen pregnancy, suicidal tendencies and other bigger problems.  Dealing with these can be devastating.  But, crawling out from under that can be the absolute most rewarding thing to happen to you.  Freedom is exhilarating.  Let yourself shine – you are beautiful.

I don’t care what the guilt trip or brainwashing was you were inflicted with…I believe we are born inherently beautiful.  It is our environment that either nourishes that or tries to destroy us.  Sometimes a parent or other family member will beat you into believing you are worthless.  That you will never be successful in anything or come to know happiness.  That is so incredibly NOT so!  If you look around you, there is almost always someone who is waiting to extend a helping hand.  You are beautiful – take pride in who you are!

In discussing this piece with a friend, I happened to relay to her a string of incidents from my childhood regarding an item I treasured.  I was ten years old when I bought my first hat with my own money.  It was a pirate hat and my mother despised it from the very first instant.  To this day, I have no clue why I loved that hat so much, but it was a precious treasure to me.  A few years later while I was away from home for a couple of weeks, my mother took advantage of my absence to throw the hat in the garbage.  My friend expressed remorse about the disposal of the hat diminishing my “training to be a pirate”.  There were plenty of other things my mother and grandparents saddled me with, however dampening the spirit that hat somehow gave me was never one of them.  Trust me, I enacted proper retribution and in true pirate fashion.

That may seem like a silly, meaningless anecdote, but it is merely an example of how the human spirit can survive.  Not only can we appreciate those little things that have helped us through life, but as adults we can reflect on all those storms we faced as children.  We can let them still rip us apart.  Or… we can look at the depth and rich hues those things have given us and how they can build our own character even now.

People need to stop judging each other or trying to mold a child into the person they selfishly think they should be.  We are each our own individuals.  Let them worry about themselves.  You are your own shining treasure.  Show the world your sparkle.

I can only hope that I never inflicted a demon within my daughter, since I know I was a wreck for most of her childhood – which is no excuse at all.  If I am guilty … I can only pray there is a way for me to somehow make up for it during my time left on earth.  I love you Michelle.

The point of this piece is to tell all the grown women who may still experience the pangs of childhood guilt and worse, that you are BEAUTIFUL!  Shed that old dingy, oversized coat that is weighing you down and be free.  There are places you can get help if you need it.  Don’t be afraid – there are more of us out there than you might think.  You are not alone.  We understand.  Come join us, Beautiful!